“It is not that we are old,
we are just not young anymore.”
The words are not mine, and I am afraid I may not have quoted them correctly. I heard them, on the original Magnum P.I., spoken by Tom Selleck’s character, and thought about how true they rang.
Magnum P.I., the original series, has become our 2020 diversion. For unknown reasons, I did not watch the show when it was originally on; for which I am now most thankful, as I have enjoyed this bit of escapism.
In case you are unfamiliar with the premise, of the show, it is about four friends, who live in Hawaii, and I think live out every make-believe fantasy of adolescent boys, from the last century. By the way, that is not a criticism. None of them appear to take life too seriously, though they always come through for each other, and any other character, which seems to have a need.
The principle character and two of his friends are about twenty years younger than me right now, when this line was delivered. The words instantly spoke to me; so much so I got off of my treadmill to write them down.
Perhaps, I should feel older than I do; but lately what I feel is just “not young”.
These days, everything feels so heavy, and completely opposite of carefree. So many serious issues are at play, in my world; not just things which directly impact me, but also the people I love.
One of the problems with not feeling young anymore is that you feel that you must be so much more responsible all of the time, than you might like. You cannot look at news and brush off stories, which make you sad or upset; you must calculate what they mean and how they might impact your life, and that of people you love.
Yes, aches and pains have caught up with me, there are too many names being scratched out of my phone book, because people have passed away, and my “to do” list is also shrinking; mostly because I have been able to do what I had wanted to do. But also because what I want to do is in flux. I think I am okay with not having walked on the Great Wall of China. It is not that I have completely given up on the idea, but when asked recently if I wanted to go to Egypt, I just said maybe. Before, when I was “not old”, I would have said an enthusiastic yes and asked when we leave.
But these days I am weighing the cost of my choices differently. Repeatedly, one of the things I find is that the moments on the road, which have meant the most to me, are always tied to some interaction with people. I have seen the Eifel Tower alone and in the company of others, and the experiences cannot be compared. I find that odd, as I have done a lot of traveling alone and always enjoyed it, but I feel like that pleasure has changed.
Being grown up is supposed to offer you power, but I have found that the power is limited and it cost so much more than we were told it would. I cannot turn my head away from the numbers of people getting sick, or the protest, which continue to grow, or the things happening to my family and friends, which are not joyful.
I find it odd that I would rather watch Magnum P.I. than the presidential debates; yet that is what I did, and I am not sorry. I have found comfort in these characters, some more eccentric than others, who build models of bridges, shoot off canons, and have dress up parties. After all, I too am a bit eccentric.
I have needed this television show about adults who deal with a good dose of make believe in order to survive life (they are all veterans). They drive fast sport cars, play with model planes, practice every sport known to man, and treasure a rubber chicken and gorilla mask. Oddly, it has all brought more than one smile to my face, while delivering ideas, which I find myself writing down, to think about later. In honor of my experience with this show, I am naming my Christmas Village after one of the four characters. Hence forth it will be Higginsville. Maybe I am feeling a little younger, as I write these words. That is all for now.